Let me start by telling you I’m sorry. To any actors I've cast in one of my shows, to any designer or production staff I've had the pleasure of collaborating with, to my fellow directors, and to all the other hard-working theatre artists out there: I apologize for not coming to see your work. I have tremendous respect for your creativity and for all the time and effort you put into your art, but I just can't come see it. Actually, that’s not true. I can come see it. But I won't.
Of course, it would be easy to make excuses like:
- Tickets are expensive. (Almost every theater now offers Pay What You Can performances. If yours doesn't, why not? Heck, Mixed Blood is even offering seats for FREE next season!)
- I have a beautiful 3-year-old daughter. Have you seen the cost of babysitting lately?! Plus, I'd rather sit next to my wife at the theater, as opposed to the guy who's attending a cultural event just to appease his date, or your sweet grandma who doesn't really know much about Rent or Glengarry Glen Ross, but she's sure it'll be great because you're in it! (Obviously I've failed to make the grandma = potential babysitter connection.)
- Justified. Modern Family. The Killing. The Big Bang Theory. Men of a Certain Age. (Hello, TiVo?)
Truthfully, even though I'm passionate about the craft of directing, I don't attend theatre anymore because it's almost impossible for me to have any fun and really enjoy the experience. And that's what going to see a show should be about, right?
What makes it so hard for me is that as a director and a former Managing Artistic Director, I've developed a hyper-critical perspective whenever I walk into a theater to watch a production. I'm a constant evaluator of the casting, the pacing, the faithfulness to the text, the color/cut/cleanliness of the costumes, the late seating procedures, the style and quality of the doorknobs on the set, the hum of the lighting instruments, the actor's volume and diction, etc. I spend my time examining everything. Every. Little. Thing.
There is one tremendous (and self-serving) upside to this magnified perception of mine. It makes me a better director. When something works well onstage and I feel that little twinge of excitement, and even when I cringe at the things that aren’t quite performance-ready, I try to file away those nuggets for future use (or not) in my own productions. Picasso once said, "Creativity is first of all an act of destruction." So, it’s entirely possible that one or two memorable things in a production might get filed away in my own bag of dos and don’ts, but that’s usually not enough to turn off my Hulk Smash! powers of observation.
I can't help myself. You may be giving the performance of a lifetime, and the director may have found the definitive interpretation of the script, but I probably won’t notice because I'm too busy checking out the roughness of the bark, and the color and shape of the leaves on each individual tree. Being such a process-oriented director serves me quite well in the rehearsal room, but it fails me during performance.
This does mean that I’m missing out on the chance to strengthen important relationships, network with potential future collaborators, and celebrate your successes. And it is sad that that’s the price I have to pay for this curse/affliction. But, thankfully, it hasn’t yet deterred my love of the art form and my involvement in such a creative community.
If it ever does, I’ll be sorry for the both of us.
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Why are you apologizing?
As far as I know, attending theatre is not mandatory. Nobody will come to your house and yell at you. You won't go to theatre jail. I'm pretty sure the BLB will still take your money if you decide you want to produce a show.
So, why waste your time apologizing? Just continue watching television. I'm almost 100% positive that nobody will care.
Some Comments on Your Apology.
I have read your post here numerous times since it was put up on Friday. I have thought long and hard about it. I wanted to see if any one else would respond to your post. Now its late Monday night and I have to go to bed soon and still no one has replied to your post. I feel like I have to respond. I don't want to come off too harsh. I've never worked with you and don't know you at all. You seem like a person who cares about the theater. But I have some issues with this post of yours. I am sorry if you find any of this offensive.
You already admit the first 3 easy reasons you don't go to the theater aren't real reasons for you. I could use all of those myself, except I'm a single dad who doesn't have a wife to stay home with my daughter if I want to go to the theater. I have to wait til Sat night, Sunday, and Monday-Wed to go to the theater, and unless its at the Guthrie, its mostly limited to Sat and Sun with the exception of a few pay-what-you can shows. Plus like a lot of us I have my own rehearsals and shows I am doing. That's the main thing I hear from my actor friends when I'm hanging with them and talking about the show I just did that they missed
"Oh I wanted to see that, but I was in rehearsal/performing/burned out from the theater."
Its legitimate and I understand that. Also, like a lot of us I have budgetary restrictions and since I moved here from Los Angeles only to be with my daughter, I'm not going to hire a sitter when I am supposed to be with her and there are other activities I enjoy besides going to the theater.
Plus I understand no one can see everything all the time. Life is a messy thing. So I don't see everything and there have been shows I've missed that I wished I'd seen. I missed the recent production of "One For the Road" by Harold Pinter at the BLB due to some of the above reasons and I deeply regret that because it featured Charles Hubbell and Ariel Pinkerton. I admire Ariels work, and Charles is an actor I'd watch read the phone book he's so brilliant. But when he does Pinter...its a revelation. I'm still blown away by his performance (and the entire cast and production of) "The Homecoming" at The Gremlin almost 2 years ago. It was the perfect night of theater and I am still both haunted and humbled when I think about it. You probably missed it.
I feel like I would be the worst kind of hypocrite if I complained about people not coming to my shows and the lack of support for the theater and didn't myself go out and support it and see peoples work and encourage others to do so too. Why should they come to my shows if I don't go to theirs? How could I call myself an actor and part of the theater community if I didn't see theater? Every show needs one thing to be theater--a live audience. Without that, its just rehearsal. Do you not feel hypocritical in anyway when you wonder why people aren't showing up to something you've directed when you yourself aren't going to the theater?
At one point this year, I spent 3 of 4 Sat nights in a row (plus a PWYC Monday night) seeing 4 shows. The one Sat night I didn't go to the theater in that period was the night I myself was performing in a show. I'm not saying this makes me a better theater person (whatever that is) than you. It doesn't.
At the same time, I don't think the reason you give as your main one for not going to the theater is good enough. I could be harsh and say its BS, but I too have experiences like that as an actor so I can't say that. However, unlike you I can turn off my actor sense and just watch the show. Later after its over I can analyze the script, direction, stage elements, and performances, and critique them and think about how I would have done things if I'd been in it, but during the show, I can let myself experience the play without being an actor but being an audience member. Its a skill every actor and theater artist should work on, because part of your responsibility as someone working in the theater is to support your fellow theater artists and actually see theater.
Not being able to turn off your director senses is NOT a legitimate excuse to not go to the theater. Its not an involuntary reflex. If you really cared about your friends who you've worked with, and if you really cared about supporting theater, you would exercise some will power to turn off your director-vision and see their work and take in the amazing experience that live theater is. Why would I trust a director who can't sit and watch a play? How can I believe you truly care about what I am doing onstage in rehearsal if you can't watch a performance? I can't imagine my life without going to the theater. I don't want to. I feel sorry for you that you are missing so much good theater. You say you love our art form--but how does neglecting it in its ultimate expression show any love for it?
I have to ask you this question: If you don't go to see other peoples work onstage, why should you expect anyone to see yours?
I recommend you try and go see a play or musical and just relax and enjoy it. This doesn't mean turn off your brain, it means try to remember its a show, not something for you to pick apart at like a vulture and that its meant to be experienced and to be moved emotionally by, to make you feel human and alive and to try and feel that instead of wondering if you would have had that actor go stage left or put a different color on that one character and etc. I recommend that to all you actors/writers/directors out there who feel like they can't just watch theater any more. You may realize you've missed a lot more that just networking or advancing your career by simply not being there. If I were an actor who had worked with you (and after this I wonder if I ever will) I would have to say I can't accept your apology. You admit it isn't that you can't come, its that you won't. You need to make an effort to change that. As a person who considers himself part of the Minnesota theater community, and the theater community as a whole, you should be better than that.