Soup to Nuts 08/11/2011 12:56pm

Prologue "Did you know Gremlin has a bar?" That message from Alan Berks of Minnesota Playlist kicked off a chain of events that had its climax at a warehouse in Saint Paul last night. I'd been toying with the idea of creating a Fringe cocktail, and upon learning of the bar at Gremlin, it seemed like the perfect place to experiment. I contacted Gremlin's artistic director, Peter Hansen. He liked the idea. But as we thought about it more, we decided it would be rude to invite people to a Fringe Festival venue to stand in the lobby and drink while a show is going on. So we switched locations to a luxurious warehouse. The panel of judges arrived at 8:30 and were ushered into the tasting area. I think they really liked the way I arranged the metal chairs! Scene One First up, a punch. I wanted to do something that honored the many Shakespeare mash-ups at the Fringe. So I started with an Elizabethan drink that would have been made with brandy, mead, claret and maybe a haunch of venison. Those were vigorous times with vigorous drinks. Our time, sadly, is much less energetic, but also much less smelly and diseasey, so I guess we can call it even. I mixed gin with honey, added sherry, topped it up with rosé prosecco and garnished with black currants. The judges liked it and gave it the name Rosé Canseco - an excellent name for a drink although it has nothing to do with the Fringe. Alan Berks and I joked about quitting theater and opening a bar. Leigha Horton grew concerned about sampling cocktails, so she ate a water cracker. Everyone rearranged the chairs. Scene Two I wanted a simple drink that, like the Fringe Festival, combines the local with the exotic. So I picked up a couple locally-grown cucumbers and juiced one. If you own a mechanical juicer, you can have fresh cucumber juice in a trice. I do not own a juicer and had to juice my cucumber the same way the ancients did, with a food processor and a sieve. I also made ginger syrup. This was the exotic element. I suppose fresh ginger is not very exotic, but when I was a child, ginger only came in powdered or snap form. I mixed gin with cucumber juice and ginger syrup, shook it with ice and strained into glasses. I was supposed to garnish the glasses with a slice of cucumber, but I forgot. The judges liked it but had trouble with a name. After several very bad names we decided to call it Soylent Gin. Alan and I grew more serious about quitting theater and opening a bar. Leigha ate another cracker. No one was sitting in their chairs anymore, but crowded around the table where I was making the drinks. I was embarrassingly proud of one of the snacks I brought. "You know the new T-shirts that the volunteers and staff are wearing? The colors are paprika and pistachio." This was another e-mail sent to me by Alan Berks. He's worried about my food blog and keeps trying to help. It makes me feel sorry for him. Anyway, I roasted pistachios with paprika (and a little salt and cayenne) and set them out for the judges. No one else was as delighted with my nuts as I was, but that's often the case. Scene Three I continue to be astonished at the amount of construction every place I try to get to during the Fringe and I wanted a drink to reflect that. I zeroed in on the light rail work and settled on a drink named for another conveyance, the sidecar. I substituted gin for brandy, added Cointreau and lemon juice and shook over ice. Glasses were rimmed with sugar that I whirred in a food processor with orange zest, but only on one side of the glass because it's "under construction." See? The judges liked it and gave it the name Urban Planning. Alan and I decided absolutely to give up theater and open a bar. Peter Hansen started speaking with an English accent. Penny Laden pulled Mo Perry's hair and then I think there was a brief pillow fight. Leigha Horton threw a cracker at Tim Hellendrung. We removed the chairs to make room for a dance floor. I realized I'd again forgotten to garnish drinks, this time with an orange slice. So I asked Peter Hansen to sneak orange slices onto people's glasses. He said, "roight you are, guv'nor" and did it. Then it was like, "Hey! Where'd this orange slice come from?" Oh, how we laughed! Scene Four A milkshake. Because it's summertime and who doesn't like milkshakes? And I decided to flavor it with pomegranate molasses because I've been spending a lot of time Uptown near Bill's Imported Foods and the last time I went to Bill's I bought a large bottle of pomegranate molasses. You can make your own by boiling down pomegranate juice until it's syrupy, but it's much easier to buy a bottle now that they have it at Bill's. Bill's Imported Foods, bringing the world to your kitchen! I mixed gin with lime juice and pomegranate molasses, then added heavy cream, shook over ice and strained into glasses. I was pretty sure no one would like this, but I was wrong. One judge said, "I thought I was going to hate this, but it's actually pretty good!" And boom! Just like that we felt we had a drink that summed up many Fringe experiences. Alan and I started arguing over the name of the bar and one of us bit the other on the leg. Leah Cooper challenged Mike Postle to an arm wrestling match. I made Tim Hellendrung promise to hang out with me because we both like sandwiches. Leigha Horton tried to build a model of TRP out of water crackers but it didn't work. Penny, Peter and Mo started singing songs from Les Miserable and then we all compared headshots and complained about the Guthrie. Epilogue The tasting was over. The wise among us left to go home or catch a ten o'clock show. I stayed to do a little more sampling and clean up. Max Bunny Ultramod Sparber also lingered a while longer. I especially wanted him to be one of the judges because he takes cocktails seriously. He also made me the most nervous. But he is a man who enjoys art and science, which is what this was all about, right? and he took it all in with enthusiasm and good humor. You can read his story of the evening at MinnPost (accounts may vary). Many thanks to all who participated. Here's my best attempt at the drink recipes. These are for single servings and I was not making single servings. Rosé Canseco 2 ounces gin A teaspoon of honey 2 ounces medium dry sherry 4 ounces rosé prosecco or other sparkling wine Black currants for garnish In a tall glass, mix the gin with the honey until the honey and gin are the same thing. Add ice and sherry. Top with prosecco and garnish with currants. You can multiply this by any number and make it in a big pitcher or a punchbowl for a party. Soylent Gin 3 ounces gin 1 ounce cucumber juice 1 ounce ginger syrup* Cucumber slices for garnish Combine gin, cucumber juice and ginger syrup in a cocktail shaker. Shake vigorously with ice, then strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Forget to garnish. *To make ginger syrup, combine a cup of sugar with a cup of water in a saucepan. Swirl over medium heat to dissolve the sugar. When the mixture comes to a boil, simmer for two minutes, then add a big piece of fresh ginger, peeled and thinly sliced. Let cool and strain into a jar. It will keep in your refrigerator for weeks. Urban Planning 3 ounces gin 1 ounce Cointreau (or other orange liqueur) 1 ounce lemon juice Orange sugar* for the rim and orange slices for garnish Prepare your cocktail glass by moistening one half of the rim with an orange slice and dip into orange sugar on a plate. Combine gin, Cointreau and lemon juice in a cocktail shaker. Shake vigorously with ice, then strain into the cocktail glass. Garnish with an orange slice or sneak one on there later. *To make orange sugar, put half a cup of granulated sugar in a food processor with the grated zest of one orange. Whirr together for about twenty seconds. The Fringe Milkshake 2 ounces gin 1 ounce pomegranate molasses* 1 ounce lime juice 4 ounces cream Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Shake vigorously with ice, then strain into a chilled glass. *Available at Bill's Imported Foods