BLOG: Let Me Tell You About Horror

Editorial
For Our Future Together Hey, friend. Let's chat. We haven't seen each other for a whole week, and I miss you. So come on in from the cold, and let's get all snuggly by the fire, drink some warm cocoa and talk of days gone by. Remember all the good times we had? Remember when we dissected the meaning of Creative Placemaking together?. Oh, how you laughed and laughed! Have some more cocoa, friend. Oh, it tastes a little funny? Mine's fine. Hey, remember that time we did that research into how much actors actually get paid in this town?. Wasn't that ever so much fun? Here, let me refill that for you. See? Tastes just fine, doesn't it? Definitely nothing wrong with that cocoa. No sir! You just keep right on drinking. Isn't that fire nice and warm. Oh! Remember that time that I tried to convince you to hate the Tony Awards? Weren't we just little devils then? Oh, the times we've had together... Hello? Friend? Excellent. The amobarbitol is kicking in. No, no, no, don't pass out on me now. Just listen very carefully: on Tuesday at midnight, the Indiegogo campaign to support Minnesota Playlist's big upgrade will run out, and you need to make a donation. You want to see what it will look like? Yes, that's right, it's very pretty. Yes, that's my name there under some of the articles! You're so smart! And you like to read what I write for you, don't you? That's right! You do! And by donating, you help make sure I can write for you forever and ever and ever. But don't think I'm just doing to this to help me. You'll get something for yourself, too , though, honestly, you might not remember that. The side effects of the amobarbitol, er, I mean, delicious hot cocoa, include confusion and amnesia. Now, just drool a little bit to let me know you understand. So, just sit back and watch this video. The restraints will keep your eyelids open. Don't worry. I will moisten your eyeballs with saline. That's what friends are for! The Horror Well, hey there, sleepyhead! Looks like you had a really horrible dream. What? I was in it? Well, that's weird. By the way, thanks for donating to Minnesota Playlist! Say, did I ever tell you that I really like horror movies? It's true. Halloween is my favorite time of the year (well, 2nd favorite, after the Fringe Festival). That's one of the reasons why I'm glad the Twin Cities Horror Festival is back for a third year, and why I'm especially glad that they're adding a late-night film series to the agenda this time. Last year around this time, I wrote about the number of well-done haunted houses in the Twin Cities, and this year, I'm going to leave it to the Star Tribune's readers to pick their favorites. But, what do you do when you're bored to death with the same old teenagers soaked in stage blood chasing you with fake chainsaws? You get in a room with a zombie. Across the country, more and more companies are putting together "room escape attractions", in which, you pay money to be trapped in a small room with your friends while you try to solve clues to get out before some unspeakable monstrosity eats you. We've actually got one here in the Twin Cities; and, yes, our culture is still stuck on "zombie", so I assume that, in the end, you will learn that the real monster was you all along. But don't worry. It happens at a facility that was also named Minnetonka's best place for a kid's birthday party. We're Past the Scary Part If you're one of the really cool people like me that live in Northeast Minneapolis, (Seriously, we're insanely cool up here. You don't even know.) you may have driven past the Ritz Theater and wondered "What's going on in there?" According to their website, literally nothing is going on there. The "Upcoming Shows" page says "There are no events currently scheduled for this venue." It's been a rough time for the old theater space lately. Earlier this year, Ballet of the Dolls, the resident company at the space, went through a series of crises that threatened to derail both the dance group and its home. Fortunately, the Ritz Theater is righting itself by shifting to a business model that is not tied so intimately to one particular company. In the coming season, expect to see more companies inhabiting this space. Especially look for the Ivey-famous Theater Latte Da, which is moving its offices into the Ritz and will be calling its stage home. Also crawling back from the brink of extinction in style is the Saint Paul Ballet. The company was on the verge of closure in 2013, but reorganized as an artist-led institution, and has been on the mends ever since. They've had a photographer on hand to help document the past year, and through the lens you can get an idea of why these dancers thought the company was worth fighting for. Another Cheap Shot at a Large Organization That Probably Doesn't Deserve All the Crap That I Give It Remember when I said the next Artistic Director at the Guthrie should be a woman? Remember when Sheila Regan said it should be someone local? You should know that Steppenwolf in Chicago just made an AD change of its own, and it's totally kicking the big G's butt in both of those regards. 99 Theatre Seats Last month, we talked a bit about the rumors around the possible demise of the 99-Seat Plan in Los Angeles. Even though Actor's Equity has said nothing concrete at all about eradicating or even amending the waiver agreement for LA (which exists nowhere else), the rumors have boiled over and congealed into a "Call For Action" in the LA area to rethink the scene's relationship with AEA before AEA can barge in with its own plans. This has stirred up plenty of commentary and opinion on the subject, no where more so than on our favorite opinion dump, Howlround, where they are curating an entire series of opinion pieces on what to do about LA's 99-seat plan. Actor's Equity, in the meantime, is off waging a different war in a different city. In the Chicago market, they will soon be test running a series of ads (or "educational spots") questioning the quality of non-Equity musicals (or "educating the public"). It's Your Chance Hey, all you actor types out there! In case you didn't know, signups for the the 2015 Twin Cities Unified Theatre Auditions are up and running. Sure, I know the auditions aren't actually until March, but I want to give you plenty of time to psych yourself up. After all, it could be your big break, right? Are you still nervous? You shouldn't be. People don't throw rotten tomatoes at performers anymore. Well, hardly ever. I mean, they probably won't throw any at you. You've got good reflexes, right? Good dodging skills? Still nervous? Here, have this hot cocoa I made for you. That should take the edge off.
Headshot of Derek Lee Miller
Derek Lee Miller

Derek Lee Miller is an actor, puppeteer, writer, designer, builder and musician (basically, he'll do anything to make a buck). He is a founding ensemble member of Transatlantic Love Affair.