For this year's Fringe blog, the editors of Minnesota Playlist have asked me to write about food...
I don't get it either.
Food? Really? At the Fringe Festival? Am I being punished? Has the Fringe Festival put pressure on them to prevent my usual hard-hitting reporting of the Festival's seedy inner workings? We will never know.
So, food. Here we go.
For those readers who have access to the Internet (so you can read this) but who are unable to use Google (my Mom and citizens of China) I have put together the following list of restaurants. I've arranged them by venue. I haven't eaten at a single one of these establishments (Why me? Why food?), so this is not a list of recommendations. It is for informational purposes only. If you have recommendations, please let me know.
Kieran's Irish Pub and Bryant Lake Bowl.
These places serve food. You're there.
Intermedia Arts, Huge Theater, Cult Status Gallery (and Bryant Lake Bowl)
First choice should probably be the new home for Fringe Central, Moto-i
Also nearby,Tiger Sushi (take-out sushi for the Fringer on the go!),
Falafel King, Milio's, Szechuan Spice, It's Greek to Me
Minneapolis Theatre Garage
Rudolph's (I have been here, but not for the food.)
Right next door is Sticks Restaurant inside Acme Comedy Company, but a restaurant in a comedy club does not inspire one with confidence.
A few blocks away is Bar La Grassa which looks very nice on the Internet.
Mill City Museum
Somebody go to Spoonriver Restaurant and tell me if it's any good. I like the name.
True Thai - has to be better than its predecessor, Faux Thai
For God's sake, go to Gremlin - it's hanging out on it's own in Saint Paul with construction everywhere. Go. And then look for Caffe Biaggio, which, unfelpfully, translates to Blaise Cafe, which in turn translate to "fire coffee." I may be wrong.
Mixed Blood, Theater in the Round, U of M Rarig Center Proscenium, Thrust, Arena and Xperimental
I know for a fact that many Fringe participants survive on Jimmy John's for the duration of the festival. Also nearby, Hard Times Cafe and Nomad World Pub and there's a rumor that one of the Minneapolis food trucks may stop by. That would be fun. You should tweet Mayor Rybak about it. He would like that.
Augsburg Studio and Augsburg Mainstage
There is nothing near Augsburg Theater. Augsburg students must be frail, skinny things. If you must, I suppose you could pack a sandwich and bring it with you in some sort of thermal lunch bag. But is it so terrible to go a few hours without something to eat? Do you really feel like you're suffering if you don't have some 32 ounce iced mocha something and a cookie as big as your head constantly in your greedy American paws? Don't you know that most of the world wakes up hungry and goes to bed hungry? You disgust me.