Vote, Damn You!

Vote, Damn You! Today is election day. Did you realize that? Did you know it was somewhere around this time, but weren't really sure what day? Did you at least have a vague sense that someone was running for some office somewhere? At the very least, do you understand the concept of voting? OK, we'll start from there. This is one of those "off-year" elections that the general public doesn't get excited about. By saying "off-year", of course, we really mean "we're not picking a president." The majority of voters usually decide to sit this one out, because, well, "we're not picking a president." I guess it doesn't seem important enough to pop over to a church basement for ten minutes and fill in a few ballot bubbles. Our nation asks so little of us, it's almost ridiculous that we still claim to be a democracy. We're not required to serve the country in any way if we don't want to (except for jury duty, which we've made a joke out of avoiding). Our taxes are pretty low compared to the rest of the industrialized world. We don't even compel our citizens to participate in the very basic act of voting. And yet, one of our major past times is complaining about our government, which we rarely participate in, unless there's some president involved. Sure, every once in a while, the federal government passes an Obamacare, and, yeah, something like Actor's Equity's insurance will use it as an excuse to drop older members from coverage, and that may affect you However, these petty little local elections with absolutely no presidenting going on, actually affect your life on a day-to-day basis far more than that guy sitting in the White House presidenting around. For example, the city of Minneapolis has a ballot measure this year that would let us get rid of the mandatory wine/beer-to-food ratios that many fine establishments are currently forced to live by. This is very important to me! How dare they make me eat a sandwich when I'm trying to pound down a bottle of merlot! What is this, Soviet Russia?! Sure, the morning of the election may be too late to really get you up to speed on what else you might be voting on, but if you really have achieved total ignorance, then use that ignorance to its fullest advantage. Instead of dutifully checking off the candidates registered with whatever major political party you think you're supposed to be aligned with, throw a vote to a third party. In Minnesota, small political parties need to garner five percent of votes in statewide elections to gain major party status; and I know that a significant portion of my readership could really get behind the Legal Marijuana Now party or the Grassroots - Legalize Cannabis party, both of whom have candidates running for statewide office, and both of whom have some very interesting things to say about how the government should work as long as you're high. But, I digress. After all, this column is supposed to be about theater and the performing arts! Why should we come down from our lofty places of high art to dirty ourselves with filthy politics? I give you exhibit A: The Legacy Amendment. Way back in the foggy yesteryear of 2008, we citizens got together and voted this amendment to the state constitution into action, and now our state enjoys a wealth of support for the arts, the environment and the preservation of Minnesota's history. The state projects that over $1.2 billion will be directed toward arts and cultural projects over the lifetime of this tax, and now artists in other states drool with envy when I tell them about this. It's been incredibly important for our state (especially since it's something I can legitimately lord over Chicago), and it only happened because we got off our butts and voted. We can celebrate a local theater crawling back from the dead, but never forget the host of zoning laws and municipal support that make that possible. We can laugh at or demand something like the EU's new "right to be forgotten", but we'll never to be able to hash it out without a political process. We can teach our kids all about speaking their mind and using theater for social advocacy, but their voices mean effectively nothing if they don't operate a voting machine. So, if nothing else, vote for the arts. Don't know who to support? Minnesota Citizens for the Arts, which has done so much for the arts in this state already, sends out a handy arts survey to statewide candidates, while Arts Action Fund keeps tabs and issues report cards on our national representatives. In short, don't be lazy; don't be disconnected; don't think you don't matter; and don't stay home. Vote, damn you! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go take my own advice. Booze without food for everyone!