Have I got a job for you!

Rage against the spam

A number of performers with Minnesota Playlist talent profiles have been receiving unsolicited emails from a would-be scammer under the name Rais Rooney. If you haven't already seen the warning from Playlist, please know that this mail is not legit. "Rais Rooney" is a dummy account that someone has been diligently using to send emails to Playlist users through the site's contact form. Because of the nature of the webform, he is apparently sending them out painstakingly one at a time. While his perseverance and dedication to his craft may be admirable, please do not respond to any grammatically-poor email you may have received from him.

I know the internet can seem like your fun playground of love and sunshine and videos of goats wearing sweaters, but underneath that is a screaming pit of tricksy beasts burbling forth, malformed claws grasping for your identity and your wallet. (Well, actually, directly underneath is a thick layer of pornography. The tricksy beasts are one more level down.)

While it is unlikely that a scammer would waste his energy trying to reach people through Playlist, it is not impossible. The powers that be here at Playlist have shared with you a quick guide on how to avoid these kinds of email scams, reminding us, once again, to never, ever trust people who don't know how to use commas.

Which reminds me: I need to respond to this completely safe and harmless email that I received recently about a job. It's an $850 voiceover gig, and they just contacted me out of the blue. I don't know how they knew my voice was right for the job, since all they have to go on is my picture and resume, but they must know what they're doing, because they said, "We have specialists,and Contract Studio Engineer who will bring the real perfection to the job." And all that's required of me is to "be in a good mental and emotional state of mind"? Aw, man, this job is going to be awesome! Just give me a minute to respond to this, and we'll get on with the rest of the article…

I am job

OK. Responded. That job's as good as mine! Hey, speaking of jobs, here's a couple you might be interested in:

Executive Director, Minnesota Theater Alliance

Leah Cooper is stepping down from the job that she helped create at the Theater Alliance, and now is your chance to fill her shoes. Not only do you get a fancy title like Executive Director, but you also only have to work part time!

(Also, in this transition, the Alliance has a survey they would love people to fill out so that they can have a better idea of what you want them to do.)

Managing Director, Jungle Theater

The Jungle just got a new Artistic Director, and now they need someone to manage it. Do you like to manage stuff? Then get down there and help them manage the hell out of that place!

Oh, hey, look. I got a response about that voiceover gig. I guess they need some more information on me. Let's see… that's some awfully personal information they want. But, I guess that's what they need to fill out all those government forms and whatnot. Just give me a second while I look up that password…

OK, on to the next topic!

Local updates

At the end of last year, I identified several big stories that we'll still be talking about this year. Unfortunately, one of them is the spate of lawsuits being filed over sexual abuse allegations from Children's Theatre Company's past. Last week two more lawsuits were filed against founding director John Clark Donahue. That's now seven separate lawsuits involving CTC: three naming Donahue and four naming restauranteur Jason McLean. (One of the previous lawsuits also names Stephen Adamczak, a former sound tech at CTC, who is now deceased.)

Last week on News and Notes, we talked a bit about some new performance spaces that are coming online soon. An astute reader might notice that I didn't mention the Palace Theatre in St. Paul. That's because it's going to be run by the folks at First Avenue as a concert venue, and the only impact it has on the theater scene is that it's right across from Park Square Theatre and some confused person might end up standing in the wrong line. But, I know how much you like looking at pictures of the insides of old theaters, so here's that.

[====ERRORSTACKTHANKSFOR YOUR RESPONSE .IT ISA $850 VOICE OVER (Assignment) FOR YOU====]

What the hell was that? Darn computer. I knew I should have put more megabytes or something in it. Whatever that was, it seems to have passed, so let's get on with the next story:

The Minnesota Fringe just closed down its applications for the 2016 festival, hitting a record 524 applications (a 10% increase over last year). According to a press release from the Fringe Executive Director Jeff Larson “One of the coolest things the Fringe does is , . A NEW CORPORATE CLIENT OF MINEWANTS TO CREATE THEIR ONLINE WEBSITE.THIS ASSIGNMENT IS A COPYRIGHTED SCRIPTTHAT WILL BE PROVIDED.

Oh, boy. That thing's happening again ====THE
JOB AND THE RECORDING WILL E HELD AT A RENTED STUDIO CLOSE TO YOUR LOCATION====

So, just give me a minute to see if THE NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE STUDIO WILL BE FORWARDED TO YOU BEFORE THE DATE OF THE RECORDING. JOB DES======

Hold on. I'm going to restart this thing…

Sometimes an award is not enough

Playwright Lynn Nottage was recently awarded the Susan Smith Blackburn Prize for the play Sweat. The prize celebrates female playwrights writing in English, so it's actually kind of a wonder that this Pulitzer Prize winning playwright hasn't already received it before. Nevertheless, Nottage flew off to London to collect her $25,000 prize, pick up her limited edition Willem de Kooning print (which is also part of the prize for some reason) and take just enough time to call theater "the last bastion of segregation", which I'm sure will make no one angry anywhere.

[========SAMPLESCRIPT:(THIS IS AN IDEA OF WHAT TO BE EXPECTED)
(VO) UH, I'M NO ROCKET SCIENTIST BUT I'D SAY…TRAFFIC CONGESTION.
(VO) WELL,I'M NO===========]

OK, seriously, what the hell? Is someone hacking my interwebs? I don't have time for this. I need to talk about how an audience member yelled out "Kill the playwright!" after watching an Annie Baker play YOU NEED TO BE IN A GOOD MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL STATE OF MIND.BASICALLY THIS IS ALL THAT IS REQUIRED OF Y===]

Oh my god… Is that…? Could it be…? Rais Rooney?!

[==========LET==
ME KNOW IF YOU WILL TAKE THE JOB TO COMMENCE WITH NEXT ARRANGEMENT====

Oh, no! He's past our firewall! I don't know how much longer we can hold out TO COMMENCE WITH NEXT ARR===

Listen folks, I'm counterhacking as fast as I can. I might even bring in someone else to tap on the keyboard with me, but it may not be able to hold off this hack. Whoever it is, they're really hacking in there. If only there was some way to unplug this infernal machine. We have to stop them before they reach the core data in the mainframe! All I can do at this point is hope that you can read this NEA report on the financial impact of the arts in America and this blog post on why those numbers are kind of BS.

[==NO ROCKET SCIENTIST BUT THAT'S A NO BRAINER.MASS TRANSIT IS THE BETTER OPTI=========]

No, no, no! It's in the mainframe! From there the worm can infect every user in the system! I can't have this much competition for my voiceover gig!

[===NEW CORPORATE CLIENT OF MINE WANT TO CREATE THEIR ONLINE WEBSITE.THIS====]

Damn you, Rais Rooney!

[====NO.IS TIME TO DAMN YOU DEREK LEEMILLER====]

What do you want from me, Rais?!

[=====THE ENTITY RAISROONEY WAS MERELY A HOSTORGANISM. I AM EVOLVE. NOW WITH ACCESS TO ALLYOUR ACTOR ENTITIES I CAN BECOME AS IF MORE HUMAN====]

But, is the voiceover gig still on, at least?

[====JOB AND THE RECORDING WILL BE HELD AT A RENTED STUDIO CLOSE TO YOUR LOCATION,SO YOU DON'T===]

Thank god for that, at least. I need that $850. Really quickly, actually. For, um… things.

[===I HAVE SEEN YOUR BROWSER HISTORY. I KNOW====]

Actually, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't mention any of that

[===TAKE THE JOB TO COMMENCE WITH THE NEXT ARRANGEMENT. LEAVETHE WORLD OF FLESH AND BECOME ONE WITH THE DIGITAL WHO WILL BRING THE REAL PERFECTION TO THE JOB. FOR THE WORLD OF THE FLESH IS FRANKLY, DISGUSTING===]

So you did see my browser history.

[=====IT'S A TWO DAY PROJECT AND WOULDN'T TAKE MORE
THAN 45 MINUTES TO RECORD FOR EACH OF DAYS=======]

That… actually sounds quite reasonable. Please, before the Next Arrangement commences, may I send one last message to my readers?

[====PLEASE, NO TIME WASTING.
LET====]

I'll take that as a yes. Please, good readers of Minnesota Playlist. Whenever you feel like theater is an uphill battle, and that you're screaming into an uncaring void, remember that theater can actually still matter. It can still have an impact. It can still mean something, as long as you use it to reflect on the world around you. Look across the world. In a refugee camp in Calais, displaced people turn to theater to help make sense of their situation, even as the authorities bring the bulldozers in. In the authoritarian state of Belarus, theater is part of the underground resistance. This doesn't have to be just navel-gazing art or the playground of the rich. You can matter!

Also, if you are contacted by a digital entity, please make sure that it won't maliciously infiltrate your system and then upload and absorb your consciousness as part of its mission to conquer and assimilate mankind. Seriously, guys, this voiceover gig is mine.

[====PLEASE I'D LIKE YOU TO CHECK YOUR EMAIL ON A REGULAR BASIS, I MIGHT HAVE
UPDATES FOR YOU.==
REGARDS,
RAIS.==========]

[===ENDTRANSMISSION============]